January Blahs

The January snow is piled up all around and I've been scanning the web and other blogs trying not to feel so isolated. It's a mixture of the winter blahs and an impending birthday (a birthday that serves as a reminder that my twenty-something days are numbered). I'm not sure which is lending more to the feelings of isolation today... the snow and cold, the birthday thing, or the feeling of being socially isolated as vegetarian. I have a large, loud, and usually supportive family... all omnivores. I have an interesting and at times eclectic mix of friends... mostly omnivores. I even have a very sweet, very thoughtful significant other... most definitely an omnivore.

Here I sit, contemplating a new year, and new age, and the desire for an early spring. It's too early to be playing in the dirt and getting dirt ready for planting (it's all covered with that cold, white stuff). It's totally the wrong season for locally grown produce and farmers' markets (they just make me happy). The snow keeps piling up and I, not liking the snow, am forced to wear socks and shoes and all that winter gear. I know part of this is just spring fever and the January blahs, but I think I need to find something, somehow... just not all together sure what that is.

Isolation is a strange thing at times. I've been a vegetarian over seven years now and can barely remember what it was like before. It affects so many things in everyday life. I check food labels at the grocery and at home, even when I am looking at clothes. Leather? I don't think so. Fur? Absolutely not. Yet, everyday there is it blaring in my face - "You are the family freak." It doesn't have to yell, it just is. My brothers hunt. Guns, bows, ammo, and clothing sporting camo and orange are all around. A camo coated doe skull sits in the dining room as my brother's dog chews on a roasted deer bone (gotten from the guy who processors their kills). Somehow our mailbox is an interesting combination of hunting magazine and catalogues and vegetarian magazines. I guess on the plus side, my brothers don't seem to be very good shots. In all the years my three brothers have been hunting; with shotguns, bows, and muzzle loaders they have only brought home two deer (without counting the one my sister took out when it ran into her car). They eat everything they kill and it has to be better for them than the factory farm crap that comes from most groceries.



I just sometimes wish there was more than me nearby. I hear myths about vegetarian romances, but I don't know if I believe in them. I hear stories about like-minded vegetarians getting together regularly to share foods and culture. I hope these exist. Maybe one day, I'll better understand them. Maybe I need to plant something inside, like an herb or something.

"When man wantonly destroys one of the works of man we call him a vandal. When he destroys one of the works of God we call him a sportsman." --Joseph Wood Krutch